BRCA2

Most days for me are good days. I'm okay with what is going to happen. But not all days. Some days, it's like I am driving in a car that is speeding out of control towards a brick wall. On October 4th, I'll hit the wall. I'll survive, but there will be alot of pain, and I'll be deformed and changed afterwards. The worst part of all of this is the lack of control. I can't make the cells normal; I can't make them stop dividing unchecked.

Everyone has a pair of BRCA2 genes. I know it is called the breast cancer gene, but that isn't what it is. The BRCA2 gene supresses tumors. The human body is so intricate and magnificant. There are all sorts of checks and balances. One of them is that we have genes that keep our cells in check, keep them from deforming and dividing. And we have built in redundancy. Every gene is a pair, so if one fails, the other can take over.

In my BRCA2 pair, I have one that doesn't work. It never worked. The first part of the gene is missing. But I had one healthy gene in the pair, and that has worked to suppress tumors. Over time, free radicals damage our genes. Pesticides in our foods, pollution in our air, radiation from x-rays, etc. So now I have cells dividing out of control. My one healthy gene is failing. If I do not remove my breasts, I will continue to develop cancers. And it isn't my fault. It isn't my diet, it isn't my admitted lack of aerobic activity. It is a bad roll on the genetic dice.

One bad roll isn't enough to keep down though. I have my Prince Charming, my Princess M and my Fresh Prince. I have more support and blessings then I can even count. If love was a cure for cancer, I'd never have to deal with this. So on those days I feel like I'm speeding towards that wall, I know I have open arms on the other side, waiting to hold me and help me heal. And that makes all the difference.