CAT scan

I haven't posted about my CAT scan, because it has taken me a bit to process it.

It wasn't a great experience. I don't know if I just had high expectations, because the chemo dept at Kaiser was so amazing. Or maybe I was just there on a bad day. I don't know.

I showed up, was taken to a dressing room to put on a gown. Then I sat for a few minutes in the waiting room. No big deal, but next time I'll bring something to keep my shirt and fake boobs in, because you can't leave it in the dressing room.

Then I was taken for the scan. My hands were placed in braces above my head, and my feet banded together to keep me from crossing them. And then my gown was taken off so I was naked from the waist up. Which I know seems like no big deal. Except I had 2 techs, and one was male. It was supremely uncomfortable for me. I know I don't have anything left but my deformed body, but it's mine and I didn't want this strange man watching me.

And then the pictures started. No one had told me they would take pictures. So while I am laying there feeling supremely uncomfortable... all of a sudden I felt humiliated. I had no time to prepare for having my deformed body photographed.

So the CAT scan happened, and then they put 3 black dot tattoos on me, so they can line the radiation machine up exactly the same each time. Well, bad enough to have a strange man whose name I don't even know watching, but then the lady tech didn't get a tattoo correct, so he has to do it. Strange man hands on my naked body. Ugh.

Finally my arms can come down. But instead of giving me a room to redress, she tells me to do it right there. So now I'm struggling to get a bra on with arms that are stiff, stuff that bra and then get my shirt on. While the strange man is right there. I felt like all my dignity had been checked at the door when I entered.

I know it seems like no big deal. I'm sure he sees this all day long. But this whole process of fighting cancer is just one undignified act after another. And this felt terribly humiliating. I don't mind when it is a male Dr, but that is because they are just so clinical. For some reason, this tech made my skin crawl.

I was taken to a small room then to watch a video on radiation. I was told a nurse would be in shortly to discuss skin care with me. After an HOUR went by, I went to the front desk to inquire about why it was taking so long. Of course, I had been forgotten. A nurse was found and gave me a 5 minute talk. Grrrr.

All in all, I am so not impressed with the radiation center at the hospital. I hope I get a patient survey to fill out. Such small things would have made a difference. Like having gender appropriate staff. And not being put behind a shut door and forgotten.

On Thursday I have my "dry run" with radiation. They make sure the plan is in place and the machine lines up, etc. Then I'll get the schedule for the daily radiation. 5x a week for 5 weeks. It can't be over soon enough.